If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
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