I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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