he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
So vagazzling was a success
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
