there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
