I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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