So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Randomize
