Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Randomize
