her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Randomize
