so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I just blew my weed a kiss
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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