I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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