You just made me feel so damn special
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
