If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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