Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Randomize
