Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
