Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
