do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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