according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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