in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
