u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
