my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Randomize