i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
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