Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
