Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Randomize
