508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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