so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
