Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
PS: I just woke up from my shower
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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