I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
