pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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