K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
