I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
