Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
