shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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