I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
