if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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