We're facebook friends in real life
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
