I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
