The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
