New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
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