Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
