Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
