Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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