Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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