We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
