Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
