Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
