Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
