I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
