McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
