The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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