You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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