If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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