how can u be prego again
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I'm really busy with my period
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