So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize