Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
