Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Randomize
