So drunk its hurt
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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