my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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