well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
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