Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
