Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
