i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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