i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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