if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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