we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
