Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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